They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
