Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
