I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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