Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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