Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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