okay pat passed out under dana's car
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
