I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
