How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
