the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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