Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
