Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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