Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
