I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
