dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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