there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
