lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
