I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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