his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
