Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
