There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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