she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
