i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
