bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
