How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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