Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this just has baby written all over it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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