I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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