I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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