yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
