Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
