i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
