My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
