i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i want to swaddle you in tequila
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
