At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
