Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
