Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The air taste purple.
Randomize
