I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
