I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
