Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
