North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
