Where did you get a picture of my penis
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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