hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
