Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
