Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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