M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
