you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
