There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
