everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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