you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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