Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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