He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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